The title is one of my favourite phrases at the moment. My second favourite from Welsh garden designer Dan Bristow is "I generally work in back gardens in London which are terrace houses, so it doesn't lend itself to putting in two-ton or five-ton boulders in, but I would love to."
This is where I come in. I suppose the artificial boulder in the image below would be around 2 tons if it were real.
Take a look at artificial rocks and boulders here: https://www.flickr.com/photos/artificialrocks/